Private

I am going private on this blog.

Just cause.

So send me your email, EVEN if your a blogstalker and you're embarrassed lol.

It will probably happen tomorrow.

sshhh...

Can I tell you a secret?

I have NO memory of losing weight. none. zero. zip. All I remember is nightly trips to the gym, and eggo waffles in the morning.

Seriously.

I don't know why, I have no idea why I would block that out, but people ask me what I did, how I did it, yada yada, and I know it was eating right and working out, but I don't remember that period in my life.

I think thats a huge reason why I am so scared to have to lose weight again, because although I know I did it, I don't remember exactly how.

So when I started to write on this blog again, I read all my previous entries and it helped, A LOT. Its starting to come back to me a little, so I am starting to be more confident that I will do it.

But let me give you this piece of advice. WRITE IT ALL DOWN. Maybe its just me, but maybe its not, weight loss is all a blur, and if you have to do it all again for whatever reason, it helps so much to have a journal of that time in your life.

so blog

journal

take notes

Do something so that when you need to do it again, and everyone has ups and downs, you will remember how you did it, literally and even mentally.

losing weight while pregnant

Yes, you read that right. I am going to lose weight while pregnant.

Before you judge me or give me all your "the internet says this" advice, I asked my Dr. if it was ok, and he said of course. The only reason they don't recommend women dont try to lose weight while pregnant is because most women don't know how to do it healthy. No crash diets, no pills, no injections, etc. Just lower calories and exercise. There is nothing wrong with it.

My Dr. isn't worried about my weight at all, he says I can still gain about 10 more lbs and he wouldn't care, but I do. I don't want the number on the scale to increase, at all. I think I have at least 20 lbs of fat I can lose to make that happen.

And before you say I shouldn't worry about it, enjoy being pregnant blah blah blah, I feel like thats exactly the mentality that gets women in trouble. Because then after the baby comes they say oh I just had a baby its ok, and before you know it 2 years later they are still saying they need to lose their "baby weight."

I don't think there is anything wrong with worrying about it now, as opposed to later when there is no excuse.

PLUS, eating healthy and working out, makes me FEEL better about the weight, I am happier on those days, more energized, and more accepting of my belly.

The other reason for this is I want to motivate women to not let pregnancy ruin their image, by it "ruining" their body. You don't have to settle for a post pregnancy body thats all rolly stretched out and plump. Your body has memory and with hard work and discipline it will want to go back to the way it was, with maybe a 10% difference.

I love health and fitness, and I know its hard, I know its tough, I know its a daily struggle, and I want to help people through it, but I also need to help myself, and there is NO REASON that the journey doesn't start with today, in a healthy way.

AND, don't think that I am this depressed person that sits around all day thinking how fat I am, I don't. PROMISE.

So, the goal.

30-45 mins of cardio 5x a week

no more than 1800 calories a day(when I was not pregnant I ate 1350 so I added 500 for the baby, and for the regularity fact)

only weigh myself once a week

not gain anymore weight, and maybe lose 10 lbs.

eat 5-6 times a day

SO HERE I GO!!!

*** I refuse to tell you my weight and how much I've gained until after the baby comes and its no longer embarrassing. :D***

***But I will be taking a before picture, the day I get home from the hospital., and I will show you and tell you the ugly truth. promise.***

so depressing.

My goals, dreams....

After I have Henry, within 3 months I want to have these things back....

This waist...

This stomach....

This face...

This bust...

and these arms...and butt...

Its true what they say, you never realize how good you look til you don't look like that anymore. I can remember what I thought when each of these pictures were taken, and although I felt good and loved the way I look, I still remember finding flaws. I can't see those in these pictures anymore, and all I want is to look like that again.

Sigh, one day.

While searching for pictures for this post I found this one...

See how that jacket fits me? Lose everywhere, arms, waist etc. I loved it. It now fits me like this....

Its not lose, anywhere. :(